If you’re like me you like comebacks. One of the most thrilling, exhilarating, amazing things in mixed martial arts is when someone snatches victory from the jaws of defeat. When a fighter is down on points or when they’re on the brink of losing consciousness. When they’re way behind and everyone in the room in the arena knows they need a knockout to win, their opponent knows they need a knockout to win, they know that they need a knockout to win, and it happens! Even more than that, it is when you see someone who clearly just will. not. give up.
No matter how beat down you are, no matter how you’ve been dominated, when you’re sparring, when you’re in a fight and you get some damage and you take a few hard shots, you have a choice: you can either tell yourself Oh no, my eye is closing! or He’s stronger! He’s faster than I thought he would be. My best stuff isn’t working. I’m throwing my hardest shots, he’s just shaking it off and he’s walking through it! You can start worrying about losing. Or you can start getting focused on adapting, going to plan B, making adjustments, and focusing on finding a way to win.
I think that’s one thing is that great fighters have is this mindset that no matter how far they might be behind on points that they are going to get the knockout. They are going to catch the guy in a submission. Until the final bell rings believe and are determined they’re going to find a way to win. And I think we have to have that mindset as parents. We have to think of things over the Long Haul. We have to think that if what was working with our kids isn’t getting through. We have to keep changing the angles. We have to keep at it and stay active because maybe the 4th or 5th shot isn’t going to get through but maybe the fortieth or fiftieth shot will. By shots, I don’t mean punches and kicks, things that will damage them. I mean acts of love, bids for connection, consistently and faithfully showing up and pursuing them. Maybe we try something new that we’ve heard is supposed to work. When you are focused and listening and learning and adapting to your child. When you seek to understand them, not just inflict your agenda on them, you can innovate, you can create, you can find a way to get through, to win. As long as you’re willing to be there for your kids, it’s never too late.
You can’t control whether they’ll respond, all you can control is to make yourself available. So if you’re a dad who’s wanting to restore your relationship with your kids even if they’re in their twenties, even if they’re in their thirties, even if they’re in their forties, even if they haven’t talked to you for a long time – you can do this.
You can only control what you’re willing to do and if you’re willing to reach out, if you’re willing to humble yourself, if you’re willing to apologize, despite how things started and how grim things are looking, something good might come out of it still. You might have an epic comeback with your kids. And that would be so much more exciting, exhilarating beautiful to see than any MMA match could ever be.
